The Power of Random Acts of Beauty and Senseless Kindness

I don't watch TV very often.  For some reason it always has its purpose.  I was watching 20/20 about bullies in school.  What was very interesting was what the bullies had to say:  they all wished some teacher, parent or other adult had stepped in and stopped them.  One of the reasons they continued to bully others wasn't just the fear and lack of self esteem that was driving them but that it was so easy to get away with.

I found myself saying to the girls on Saturday:  Art of the Dance is a non aggressive, bully free zone.  No punching, no pushing,no demeaning comments, no yelling or shouting out derogatory comments at each other.  This was a place of kindness and compassion towards others.  No mean girls here.  We have had them but not now and not in the future.

Art of the Dance will always be a bully free zone.  Things do happen at break or in the parking lot or backstage that I don't see.  If you or your dancer ever feel they have been bullied by a mean girl, come talk to me and I will put an immediate end to it.

All this reminded me of that wonderful campaign a few years ago:  Random acts of beauty and senseless kindness.  Looks like we could use a little more of that.  The one educator they interviewed who made the most sense said:  We do not present our children with images of kindness and we do not teach them compassion.  Adolus Huxley said the most important thing he has learned in life is to be kind.  Something for all of us who love our children and care about their future to think about. 

I know we live in a time and place where we may not always be safe and we may be placed in a situation where good judgement would require anything but kindness.  So long as we can instill good judgement in our children, small drops of kindness and compassion can create a sea of change.

Negativity

Our philosophy at Art of the Dance is to keep it positive.  Granted you can't let the kids run the class, manners and respect need to be constantly reinforced and occasionally the evil Miss Leslie rears her head but by in large I have found I get the most from a dancer telling them they are doing a good job when they meet my level of expectation for them and telling them what to improve when they are not at the expected level of excellence I want from them. 

They have seen me do my victory dance and sing my victory song when they go far beyond my expectations or finally get a step after a long, hard struggle.  Both need to be acknowledged and celebrated.  I make it very clear to them when I am disappointed with them and when I am thrilled.  And when I am disappointed I make it very clear why and what to do to improve.

One thing I will not do is shame them or discourage them with words like:  that was awful, that was terrible, you're not good, you're doing bad, why can't you do better than that, do you think that's dancing.  I would never use words like that and then not even tell them exactly what to do to improve.  Teachers do teach like this but the result is the natural dancer who has the most facility to be a professional dancer will improve but the student with the heart of a dancer who has to work hard for their steps will give up.  Even the natural dancer may give up without encouragement.

The professional dance world is also changing.  I actually read in Dance Magazine where a star in a major ballet company struggles with turns and is just beginning to do fouette turns without moving.  Back in the day a company would never have looked at this dancer.  But her heart on stage is so big, the rest of her technique so right on that the company is willing to wait for her to get her turns.  I almost passed out when I read this-back in the day when I was taught by a teacher with a cane she would not even have sent any of us to audition for a summer program without our turns under control.

The dance world is just starting to understand that talent like fine wine needs time to mature.  The roster of dancers in the 70's, 80's and 90's who were wunderkinds at 16 who fizzled out by 20 is longer than the list of those who managed to keep on dancing.  Both New York City Ballet and ABT have a roster of stars who in their 20's  managed to get through the negativity of critics only to emerge in their 30's with enough maturity to finally be acknowledged as true artists.  It takes time to make dancer.  In a fast food world that may take some getting use to.
 
I try very hard not to make a negative comment on a step unless I have the exact how to for the student to make it better.  I would rather have them do a step a million times with a small correction each time until they get it right then bombard them with words like that was bad do it again, I don't even want to look at you it's so bad, why can't you do it right.  You may get the step right quicker but the damage to the soul of the dancer may not be worth it.  Small corrections, not going on until the first correction is achieved, trying different ways of presenting  a step until the light bulb comes on-they all require an extreme amount of patience and perseverance from the teacher but the dancer's soul remains creative and strong.

Negativity kills hopes and dreams.  It cripples action.  It saps creativity and energy.  We are bombarded by it.  If I can get results without it, I will.  If I can create an oasis of positive correction, I will.

Why the Changes.

A parent asked me the question:  Why all the changes this year?  The simple answer is to make things better for your dancer here at the studio. For your benefit as my customer.  But, that may not explain it all.

This summer I went to a business seminar.  We were asked to write down how much time we spent working in our business-things like accounting, running after late pays, dealing with statements, stamps, envelopes, printing and organizing fliers.  Then how much time we spent working on our business: finding and implementing creative ideas to attract more students, upgrading the facility, being more creative in our teaching and choreography. 

Well after doing my lists I had to admit I spent 95% of my time working in my business and a mere 5% working on my business.  If the business is already unmanagable while it is small, how could I expect to grow, to ever have the energy or inspiration to grow the business and keep it growing.  Point taken.  The quest began.

Once the new accounting system and auto pay is in place-my accounting cycle will last all of one day a month instead of two days a week.  Auto-pay, e-mail a few statements, know the money is in my account and schedule all payments for the month.  Done!!!

Once the newsletter system is in place, parents will have all the information they need delivered right to them.  No paper, ink, printing, sorting, putting names on each flier to make sure everyone who needs one gets one and after that still hoping they get into the parents' hands.  A couple of hours of work for me versus days. 

What will this mean.  Time and energy to work on bright ideas to attract new students, to be more creative with more time and energy to plan choreography and class curriculum, more time and energy to build the studio. 

Frankly, this year I hit a strange wall.  We have so many talented students that I could have done two different casts of Cinderella without using anyone outside of their class number twice.  As much as I wanted to we were just not big enough yet to financially pull off doing two shows.  I had the talent.  Just not enough of a profit.  It was incredibly frustrating-banging my head against this wall.  Something had to give.

I know change can be a little odd at best for most people and a little scary at worse for some.  But, once these two systems get going I'll be able to do the things I have just not had the time to do:  attract more students, find outside performing opportunities of our companies, start a professional company to give our dancers a whole new level to look up to and get to some little things like studio t-shirts and jackets.

What does this mean for you and your dancer:  better classes, better shows and more opportunities. The convenience of knowing you're paid to date and knowing you don't need to hunt through a dance bag for statements and other important information.

There will be a few bugs, there always is with something new.  But the benefits to you and your dancer will be well worth it.